Mój Koniczek is an autofictional short film about growing up and letting go, and the tension between past and present identities. The voice-over narrates my mother’s obsession with my long hair and her shaping of my identity as a “horse girl.” As a child, I was obsessed with horses, and that is how my mom still sees me. I believe my mother doesn’t want to see me with short hair because she associates it with growing up. Like many parents, she struggles with letting go of my childish, girlish identity and the innocence that comes with it. The atmosphere of the film is extended into the space by using hay bales as seating elements—both the tactility and the smell of the hay are aimed at immersion.

shortfilm – installation – 10’45’’ – mini dv film – projection in space with hay bales as seating elements

A 4 minute long performance in which Natalia tries to braid her hair while speaking about how she feels she’s losing the connection with her mother. At the same time a video is playing on a tv with a my little pony toy on fire. The independent braiding of the hair without any help (of a mother for instant) looks tiring. This stands symbol for Natalia’s struggle with growing up and becoming independent. She links this struggle to a possible theory of letting go her child-like connection to her mother.

Click here to watch the video of the performance